As I was working on the book I found a lot of comparisons to Donald and other family members, and have used those in the book. Then I added a few more lines, some of which are in the book, and others are not. I thought as we approach Father’s Day, this would be a good time to send my memories to all of you. The book is now at the publishers!

Remembering Donald

Donald. Dee knew him well.

He was the sum of the family, a most unforgettable character, like Sam, satisfied and elated, sometimes gloating at the bridge table, finding a play or bid as exciting as Sam found Vegas. Their stories were long and legendary, “Did I tell you about the time . . .? Yes, but they’d continue. He was Charlie when he challenged his kids or his friends, Asking Why? Why not? Why would you? Why wouldn’t you? Talking, talking, probing, searching for answers.

In Boston on business he visited a stepdaughter, convincing her to move to Minnesota where there was family. He was proud he had the families together, in one place, where they could all enjoy the cottage, Holiday dinners, especially Christmas, when there would be gifts for everyone.

Gregarious, he was always up for a party, planning the event like a corporate goal, assigning numbers to the Chinese dishes, printing menus for the family dinner after he had learned how to use a wok.

He looked forward to his St. Mary’s Invitational with his bridge buddies, setting it up like a mini-tournament.

At his friend’s 50th wedding anniversary party he went around the room and met all the guests. Later, when the hosts reviewed the photos there was Donald, again, and again, and again, smiling, mingling, talking with his new friends.

At his stepdaughter’s wedding he schmoozed and laughed with his “new friend Jack” – his wife’s ex.

He cherished one hope: One happy family – his, hers, exes, everyone.

But he was as bossy, business-wise and unrelenting as Eddie, and as tactless and feisty as Aunt Annie, interrupting to get to the point, so he could make his point.

Sara and Lou gave him love, and taught him how to love – the Valentine bouquet he sneaked onto Dee’s desk at Honeywell, and LOVEY, the vanity license plate surprise.

He loved life, and he was eternally grateful to his son for a second chance. He got through the kidney transplant, back surgery, a triple bypass, numerous TIAs, pneumonia, shingles and seizures. He survived several falls, high blood pressure, angina, skin cancer, and third degree burns after stupidly starting a fire with gasoline.

But nothing stopped him. He went to the bridge tournament, his face all swathed in gauze. He went to a wedding a week after back surgery, and traveled to bridge tournaments and Europe and cruised the Mediterranean, his love of life and his playful spirit endured, even when his body and heart were weakening and his skin, like tissue paper, bled at the slightest touch.

As his brain’s evil interceptor advanced he became easily agitated, often frustrated and angry. He failed his driver’s test, took dozens of pills, lost bridge partners, lost friends.

One night he got angry with Dee and “stole” the car and she called the police. About an hour later the police picked up Dee so she could drive him home and when she held out her hand for the keys, he gave her a hug and smile and said, “Your hair looks nice, Lovey.”

He could fool the people he met at Starbuck s when he drove his cart there for Sociability, company, new friends, and cocoa.

He had his oft’-told stories down pat, used colloquial phrases that could disguise memory loss –
“That’s the way it is. That’s the bottom line.”
It was a short script, often repeated, the same question, the same refrain—
A clue to dementia, to Alzheimers.

Donald truly was a survivor and a most unforgettable character,
So smart, yet forgetful, likeable and loveable, yet exasperating,
We remember him with a loving smile,
Shake our heads and say, “That’s Donald!”

He was …

One of Life’s Blessings.

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